Get Real

ben_silverstone @ 2004-07-29T04:55:00

2004-07-30T08:55:21Z

Adrian is back!

WE'RE GETTING A YORKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ben_silverstone @ 2004-07-24T21:48:00

2004-07-25T01:48:28Z

I miss my Adrian

ben_silverstone @ 2004-07-18T03:45:00

2004-07-18T07:47:10Z

It's really happening, I've found the one and we're going to get married.

ben_silverstone @ 2004-07-14T19:48:00

2004-07-14T23:53:22Z

So I am back from seeing annoying cousins run around until they have thrown up their lunchs, uncles that talk perversely and horrid manor to one another and grandmums who can't stop pinching your cheeks.

Do I wish I were back there, well seeing as I'm back a week and a half early I highly doubt that.

...That prick better not have touched Adrian while I was gone, he has a bloody death wish if he did.

ben_silverstone @ 2004-07-03T22:26:00

2004-07-04T05:26:37Z

*sigh* It's that time again, the summer *cringes* family get togethers, someone bloody kill me and fast.

I'll be away in the countryside, I'll try to be around but I doubt I'll be back til the end of the month...

Sorry blokes and lassies gotta be away for a little while, shall try best and update asap and be around sorry Wolf

ben_silverstone @ 2004-06-25T23:04:00

2004-06-26T03:08:05Z

I have made many mistakes in the past
...and I don't think it's possible not to make any more
I want to be with him, and I don't believe that's a mistake
nothing you can say or do can make me believe that

I'll stay with him forever, I hope he can be mine
because I'm his

ben_silverstone @ 2004-06-23T19:23:00

2004-06-23T23:23:57Z

hmm well I'm back, well moreso then before.
I should be leaving for the country side in a few weeks, family thing, I'll try to be around as much as possible before I go

ben_silverstone @ 2004-06-23T18:59:00

2004-06-23T23:00:12Z

It's sweet, to others it may be unreal, but it's sweet

because I've been in hiding

2004-05-10T03:40:49Z

I haven't been around, I'm not too sure how much I want to be around anymore, the country with its nothingness seems quite preferable to the melodrama here and there...

I just wish I could whisk away one of you and keep you in hiding with me, secluded from all life other than our own, but hey wishs and dreams are only meant to be broken and crushed...

ben_silverstone @ 2004-04-10T10:27:00

2004-04-10T14:44:01Z

I am so afraid to hurt people, so afraid that I haven't changed, maybe everyone else was right maybe I should stay away from him, I couldn't bare to hurt him again...

but I love him so much, there's not much that keeps me here other than knowing he may still feel something for me, that I'm his and he's mine.

I love him, but that changes nothing, redeems nothing, so is it nothing? is my love for him nothing?

I can fly
but I want his wings
I can shine, even in the darkness
but I crave the light he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My Angel Gabriel

I can Love
but I need his heart
I am strong even on my own
but from him I never want to part
he's been there from the very start
My Angel Gabriel
My Angel Gabriel

Bless the day he came to be
Angel's wing carried him to me
Heavenly
I can fly
but I want his wings
I can shine, even in the darkness
but I crave the light he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My Angel Gabriel
My Angel Gabriel
My Angel Gabriel

...I love him

ben_silverstone @ 2004-03-18T03:28:00

2004-03-18T08:28:14Z

Well I'm back from the country... and yeah, any of you buggers miss me? ...probably not, but that's okay.

I need to talk to a few people, this is really really really important...
mainly just jordan_price and gareth_davies.

Other than that I'll be around so if anyone wants to IM me I'm "get real ben"...

see you around blokes...

ben_silverstone @ 2004-02-23T19:04:00

2004-02-24T00:04:10Z

Sorry blokes and duckies, I'm out of town for a couple of months, I'm off to visit a distant cousin or another, and they're in the countryside which means I won't be around [as if I were around when I was in town] hopefully when I get back my bloody pc will be available to use and not breaking down on me, infernal piece of bullocks.

ben_silverstone @ 2004-02-06T17:47:00

2004-02-06T22:53:19Z

I feel guilty, I've had the means to go onto AIM, and mingle again, especially with a certain few, but my computer, the bloody piece of machinery, has a great sense of irony and humour, just as I decide to be online more frequently it dies on me, therefore I am at an internet cafe writing this up...
I apologize all those that want to talk to me, I'm not avoiding you, and I'd fancy a nice chat with you mates, all of you.

My semester is over and now I have all the time in the world, yet I have nothing to do, I am so fucking bored!

I want to talk to Gareth and Katie, and of Michael and Miguel... it's very tiresome, having all this time, I find myself going to sleep around 10 at night waking up at 2 in the afternoon, and yet I still feel like shit...*sigh* I need to find a life, any suggestions?

I'm sorry...

2004-02-03T21:25:36Z

I've though about alot of things, mainly death, seemingly I wander through those that have befriended me and I just want to apologize for everything, all the shit I've gone and put everyone through, the lies, the deceit, everything.

I can't justify anything i've done, so I don't expect anyone to forgive me, and for all those people who think I am just trying to wiggle my way into another thing like with Gareth, I'm not and I'm sorry if you see it that way, I'm sorry...

dealing with some out of character issues in life, I felt a need to escape to the non reality of rp, I hope those that were friends with ben before can once again be friends with him, I understand if there's flame or negativity against me, I just want to apologize

sincerely
Kay

ben_silverstone @ 2004-02-03T15:53:00

2004-02-03T21:04:17Z

It's been a while, most of you have forgotton me, I mean I surely would have, a fucked up bloke like myself, who'd really give more than two thoughts about me...

Death is inevidentable, and as morbid as this may sound the security that it's promises is comforting, it's a sad truth, but it's truth which I've seen and deny to be rare.

Perhaps this is just emptiness talking, perhaps I'm embracing something that has a time, perhaps I'm embracing it or want to embrace it earlier than nature intended, perhaps I'm just a completely pissed and full of shit, but nevertheless I just wanted to fill your mate's page with some random bollocks

thank you
Ben

Hey

2003-12-24T08:30:43Z

Hello mates, and others I'd prefer not to be affiliated with but whatever, I'm still alive, oddly enough, just a gimp that's all, being shot in the leg doesn't do much for walking.

I've been around mainly at school, I'm out for the holidays odd, I get out the day prior to Christmas eve, bloody system.
I'm going to be home for most of the holidays, I think I may visit Michael and Miguel, I don't know what to get Miguel though, Savannah and Michael are SO easy to shop for and then I've got Miguel, who is so god damn picky about everything, and you know he'll say yeah it's nice I like with extreme lack of effort to even be a little ethuastic. GRRRRRRR seems I'm going back to shopping, if any one has any ideas for Miguel's present please help.

ben_silverstone @ 2003-12-17T20:05:00

2003-12-18T01:08:17Z

I died so piss off

ben_silverstone @ 2003-12-08T17:25:00

2003-12-08T22:29:28Z

FUCK EVERYONE

FUCKING EVERYONE JUST GET AWAY FROM ME

ben_silverstone @ 2003-12-04T21:40:00

2003-12-05T02:44:03Z

FUCK, I'm such I fucking git, why the bloody hell am I so irrational and neglects all the pieces until I've managed to screw up the fucking puzzle!!!!!

ben_silverstone @ 2003-12-01T21:20:00

2003-12-02T02:24:11Z

I'm confused, if a guy doesn't want to finalize things for a relationship, and starts flirting with another girl, what does that mean

ben_silverstone @ 2003-11-29T23:39:00

2003-11-30T04:41:49Z

Which Band Should You Be In? by couplandesque
Your Name
Band Name	Funeral for a friend
Role	Vocalist
Trademark	Squeaky voice
Love Interest	the bassist

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

ben_silverstone @ 2003-11-24T23:23:00

2003-11-25T04:25:12Z

what do you think of me?

ben_silverstone @ 2003-11-17T18:25:00

2003-11-17T23:26:47Z

How long do I last in bed? by DesideroAmor
Real Name
Birthdate (MM/DD/YY)
Favorite Color
Gender
Hours	0
Minutes	15

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

....so sad

another teenage angsty ranting

2003-11-16T07:40:57Z

I hate it, I hate the loneliness, I hate the paranoia, I hate everything.

I'm so fucking paranoid, do you really find me attractive, are you lying to me, are you avoiding me, am I annoying, am I just another fucking baby to you, another toy, GOD I HATE THIS! I'm scared, I tremble thinking about you, I tremble wanting you, wanting something I can't have, wanting something that doesn't want me...

I've been told to look at the big picture, to look at everything not just lttle details, how can I, how can I look at something that makes me cry, I know what the big picture tells me, it screams out warning me, I'm going to get hurt, I'm going to get hurt very badly, and I might not being able to handle it, I might not be able to go on...

I promised you I would never give up my life, not for anything, I go through life every single day thinking of breaking it, of breaking my promise, breaking everything I believe in.

I believe in life, I believe in the sacredness of life, the precious thing that each of us face every day, I dream of taking my life and taking it away, cutting the skin, poisoning the blood, let the flow of stop, stifle the breath and screams.

You told me many things, you made me believe so many things, you told me I was beautiful, I believed you, you told me I was precious, I believed you, you told me you loved me, I believed you, how naive I was, how naive was the little soul inside me, the beating heart that took every word you said to me and engraved it into my mind, into me.

I want to say those words, the word used to refer to oneself as speaker, I. Add onto that word with a verb, the word used to feel hostility or animosity toward, hate. To conclude the sentence, the word used to refer to the one or ones being addressed, you. I try the say is all one after another, but the words don't come out, I can't seem to say it, I try to and my mouth just drys up and nothing comes out.

ben_silverstone @ 2003-11-13T19:14:00

2003-11-14T00:18:44Z

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	Your mother warned you not to run around with scissors in your hand. You die by some freak accident. Can't really say it was pretty, your Funeral is a closed casket.
Death Date:	October 6, 2048
Number attending your funeral?	151
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$1,055,105

Created with quill18's MemeGen!